Some follow up from the last two posts.
(1) I’ve had a small explosion of email, messages and forum comments of people vomiting their guts up about their Elephant in the Room. This is all good.
(2) I’ve also had a fair number of emails and comments to the effect of, “Okay I admit to having screwed it all up, having missed how unhappy she was. But then she did [totally inappropriate behavior]. Am I really to blame for all that?”
Too long didn’t read…. hit an iceberg and it’s the Captain’s fault.
Long answer… and please, remember this is a blog post using the broad brush…
Whether the husband knows it or not, and even whether the wife knows it or not, almost always their biology is going to assume a male Captain, female First Officer arrangement. We can fill our heads with anything we want to believe about relationships, but for almost all of us, when the going gets really tough, our Body Agenda simply asserts itself and starts making making decisions based on a Captain and First Officer model.